Stop Making Excuses – How Do You Hold Student’s Accountable?
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Hi, my name is John and today I will be going through how students can stop making excuses and be accountable for their own actions.
After an exam, do you often find that your child makes excuses for why they performed the way they did? If you are, you are not alone. It’s tough but in the society that we are living in, we do not want to let other people know our weaknesses. So when something bad happens and its primarily our own fault, as humans we tend to make up excuses to not confront the reality.
After an exam, do you often find that your child makes excuses for why they performed the way they did? If you are, you are not alone. It’s tough but in the society that we are living in, we do not want to let other people know our weaknesses. So when something bad happens and its primarily our own fault, as humans we tend to make up excuses to not confront the reality.
We might say things like ‘the teacher didn’t even teach anything we went over in class or ‘I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I hear these excuses time and time again even during my time in selective high schools and as a teacher – everyone used to do it including myself... But what I realised is that you are ultimately in charge of your actions and you have to face the truth. If you didn’t study properly or enough, just admit it. Being accountable is a key trait in top-performing people in the workforce and not just students.
Therefore, today I will be sharing 3 strategies you can use to help your child to have accountability for their actions and therefore be a lot more successful in life. Let’s get into it.
The first thing you have to do is to clearly explain the concept of student accountability and introduce it. Thw reason why this is important is that there are so many students who do not understand why they need to take responsibility. It is a lot easier to not put in the work and just keep making excuses because they know they can get away with it without any consequences. Therefore, at the beginning of the year or term, have a proper sit down with them and let them know what will happen if they do actions that are unacceptable. This could be things like not studying at all, not completing homework where as a parent you will give them a prescribed consequence – such as no Netflix for the week etc until it becomes the norm.
Conversely, if they practice good student accountability by doing everything correctly leading up to an assessment but for whatever reason didn’t get the mark they wanted, we should still reward them. Creating a positive environment is very important. Don’t make it monetary but instead, give them a bit more screen time, help promote these healthy habits. This is critical because we should not value the mark or achievement in an exam when they are first putting this concept into practice but instead, we are placing importance on the approach. They may drop the ball the first few times even though they are doing everything ‘right’ leading up to the exam but over time, you will see improvements in academic performance if they have good student accountability.
The second strategy is to stick with your rules. If you agree to certain standards and expectations, go with it. There will be times you want to be lenient but it will only encourage students to break rules. Students may say things like ‘ just this once please’ or ‘it’s the last episode of the show – just 5 more minutes. I’ve personally used those lines before and it has worked but as a parent and a teacher, you have to shut that down early on. Especially if you have more than one child because they will expect the same treatment and leniency. You don’t want to be seen as picking favourites and for this entire framework of student accountability to break down.
A good way to be consistent with this is by creating a plan alongside the student from the very beginning. It is an opportunity to be completely aligned with the goals and can encourage the student to be self-motivated to stick with it. As both the parent and the student have a copy of their plan, parents should support them in reaching it as opposed to rewarding negative behaviour. So when your child wants to do something that goes against the goals that were set and even has a good excuse, it is important to refer back to the plan. This could be like ‘is not completing homework this week going to help you get into a selective school?’ and more than likely, they will realise what action they should take.
The third and last strategy is to let their teacher know of the strategy. It can be a lot of work to manage with just you and your child and to always keep on top of it. That is why try to work with your tutor or classroom teacher to make sure they are accountable not just at home. This could be something like, if the student kept talking in class, get the teacher to give the parents a call the next time it happens. This is a great way to reduce the number of mistakes from happening and increase the likelihood of the student taking responsibility. And with all good things, it is going to take time. Although, you as a parent can sleep well knowing that these strategies will help your child not make excuses and to be accountable for their own actions.
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